Woman left hurt and angry after trusting her mother-in-law to watch her cat, only to return from a week-long trip to a total nightmare: 'I feel guilty for leaving him in bad hands with someone I am supposed to trust.'

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Apr 4, 2026 9:30 AM EDT

Cats are our babies. Leaving them in the hands of someone else is as scary as finding a good daycare for your child. And when cat pawrents go for a long time, they want to know their cats are well taken care of, with the bare minimum of them being fed and clean. So if and when a cat pawrent discovers their beloved cat child was outright neglected, it's only natural for them to go livid. We know we would be. And with this couple's cat? It's even worse, since the neglectful cat sitter is family. These are the closest people to you, ones you're supposed to be able to trust, and definitely ones who know how dear your cat is to you.

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  • 01
    ERS US
    via alpinepossum
  • 02
    EDIT: Thank you SO much everyone for the outpouring of love, support, and advice | received from this thread during a very scary time.
    via alpinepossum

  • As we can all understand from the picture and frightful opening, the cat needed some extra attention, which he didn't get - which got him into a worse situation than he could've been. Only if the mother-in-law cat sitter would pay attention - not even going an extra mile, just having the care in her heart for a family cat - he would avoid the trip to the vet and the suffering it brings with it. Both for the cat, and his pawrents. We know of other cats who've gone through horrific cat-sitting experiences that left them traumatized, but at least we know they're safe and sound. We sit here crossing our fingers that this cat is coming through the other side healthy, sprightly, and very much loved - as he deserves. As for the mother-in-law… we wish for her to never encounter cats again.

  • 03
    You all are amazing. TLDR: MIL was supposed to catsit. Allowed cat to suffer for a week with a blocked urethra.
    via alpinepossum
  • 04
    Cat in hospital still. I apologize in advance because I'm unsure if this is the right thread but I just need to rant.
    via alpinepossum
  • 05
    My partner (of 3 years) and I planned a week long trip. His mother was going to be our cat-sitter.
    via alpinepossum
  • 06
    She is retired, has nothing but free time, and lives next door to us. Our approximately 5 y/o male cat started to develop symptoms around midnight on the night before our travel day.
    via alpinepossum

  • It's unbelievable that someone who has all the free time in the world - no work, living on a pension, so she's a cat-sitter who doesn't even need money - can't free some of her time to care for another being, especially one who she's tasked to keep safe. It's not that she was busy with something else, she just… didn't seem to care? We think.

    Look, we get that not everyone is a cat lover. They're wrong, but we get it. There are over 8 billion people in the world, and no one is the same as the other. But us cat people, we know each other, at least on the level of caring for cats in general. But caring for another living being isn't confined to being a “cat person”, “dog person”, or any other “type" of person. No one asked the mother-in-law to love this cat to bits, to mother him, to dedicate herself to him. To be a “cat person”. She was only tasked to care enough to not to leave him in need. And that failure is unacceptable.

  • 07
    I talked about it with MIL and told her to take him to the local vet the next morning to have it investigated.
    via alpinepossum
  • 08
    During our whole trip, she only told my partner that everything was fine, the cat was fine, and everything was status quo at the homestead.
    via alpinepossum
  • 09
    I had a bad gut feeling the whole trip but trusted my MIL wouldn't be neglectful.
    via alpinepossum
  • 10
    A week passed and we return home at about 2AM. Upon arriving home, I find our cat unable to move on the floor, crying in pain.
    via alpinepossum
  • 11
    He was unable to stand, unable to move on his own. We immediately brought him to our vet, where they instantly saw he had a blocked bladder and took him in for treatment.
    via alpinepossum
  • 12
    His bladder was drained with a catheter, he is eating/drinking well, but still unable to urinate on his own due to his swelling.
    via alpinepossum
  • 13
    He's on night 2 on his vet stay. I guess the point of me writing this is that I am indescribably angry and upset and feel like I have no one to really talk to about it.
    via alpinepossum
  • 14
    I am SO angry that she was so selfish and neglectful to allow our animal to suffer for such an extended period of time.
    via alpinepossum
  • 15
    I feel guilty for leaving him in bad hands with someone I am supposed to trust to not ab e my animal.
    via alpinepossum
  • 16
    feel so guilty he's still struggling in the hospital when he's been nothing but an amazing pet and companion his whole life.
    via alpinepossum
  • 17
    I am just so so angry. Thanks for reading this far. I appreciate this thread.
    via alpinepossum
  • 18
    devotfeige That is the most heinous thing I've heard in a while. The fact that you KNEW it was happening and advised a vet trip to investigate and she still took no action is an absolute outrage. I would never recover from this; trust broken wholly and absolutely. What an absolutely vile decision this woman made.
    via devotfeige
  • 19
    OP alpinepossum I am still extremely anxious as the vet says we need to take it day by day. This cat was a freebie barn cat that's my whole world. He's the sweetest, gentlest boy that would never harm anything.
    via alpinepossum
  • 20
    honeyapp Give her the vet bill
    via honeyapp
  • 21
    OP alpinepossum This is my plan. If she doesn't want to accept, I am not afraid to take it legal. I have receipts with her text conversations saying he was fine. Another user recommended having the vet transcribe the timeline of his UTI complications to show how it doesn't happen overnight and she was neglectful.
    via alpinepossum
  • 22
    devotfeige One of my boys is prone to crystals and his worst episode saw a three or four-day stay at the vet that at times looked pretty grim. He can tell I'm vicariously upset about your situation, he's been furiously trying to insert himself between me and my laptop and is head-bonking everything he can reach. I'm sure if I could explain it to him his thoughts would be with you and your boy. All my best wishes to you and yours.
    via devotfeige
  • 23
    OP alpinepossum Do you think my boy will be okay? I know you'd be shooting in the dark but I just need positivity. They said his urethra was cleared but still unable to urinate. He's still on IVs too due to him still being extremely dehydrated. He was in good spirits when I saw him today at the vet. The techs said he has been a perfect angel patient and somehow loving all the attention, despite the obvious. I just cannot UNDERSTAND how someone can be so willfully evil and neglectful. Yesterday s
    via alpinepossum
  • 24
    devotfeige ⚫8h ago I feel like I need a big "I AM NOT A VETERINARIAN" disclaimer before I say anything, but I would think if it's just a matter of swelling at this point then it'll probably just take a little bit of time. IIRC (it's been a few years and my memory is Not Good) that was what made up the bulk of Artemis' time at the emergency vet, was just waiting for the swelling to go down.
    via devotfeige
  • 25
    Here he is:
    via devotfeige
  • 26
    Your boy is in good hands now, and if he was in good spirits when you saw him I'm sure he'll bounce back. :)
    via devotfeige
  • 27
    And if you'll allow me a moment of sentimentality: My childhood cat fell ill when I was 18 (cat was 13 at the time) and living with horrible people who hated animals; I kept a written log of every gritty detail of his laborious at-home recovery (the vet's recommendation at the time, so I'd know what to tell the professionals when I brought him back for checks) that I rediscovered recently--every five to ten minutes
    via devotfeige
  • 28
    for almost a month was another grim entry. It really didn't seem like he would make it, and the family members I was staying with at the time threatened several times to throw him outside and leave him to his fate. He made a full recovery and lived six more years! If there's any justice in this world, I know he'll be watching over your boy until he's home again.
    via devotfeige
  • 29
    alpinepossum OP • 8h ago Such a handsome boy, he has beautiful eyes! And yes, totally understand the "not a doctor” disclaimer, just cat parents helping me find a little hope in this dark time.
    via alpinepossum
  • 30
    Yes, I am totally ready to give him the most comfortable transition when he finally comes home. He has a younger sister (another free tuxedo dumpster find) who has been searching for him everywhere at home.
    via alpinepossum
  • 31
    Thank you for the conversation and keeping my mind occupied for a little bit.
    via alpinepossum
  • 32
    WED U 1, WOODBL 240 C LAND OF LINCE D293 SOUTH CAROL NEW JERS BUK 6 CARDCH SU 4704 SEE, VERMON XH-5 97 TENN R-42 COMMER MAINE 304-5 TRAILE COM RTH VIRO 94 1941 P 350 NEVA 69-B 05 ERCIA 16 INSA
    via alpinepossum
  • 33
    yipyipyorrray You should be angry, and I hope your partner is too. But know that this is not your fault. You had no reason not to believe your MIL would be bare minimum competent. I hope your partner is as angry as you are. If I were you, I would sue for the vet bills if she isn't willing to pay up. You can talk to the vet and get statements on how the UTI progressed (these things don't happen in one night) and show receipts that your MIL was obviously lying when texting you. Bless your heart an
    via yipyipyorrray
  • 34
    OP alpinepossum Thank you. I am still beyond myself worried. His urethra is cleared but he still cannot urinate on his own. The vet is advising we take it day by day.
    via alpinepossum
  • 35
    Capital Scratch2514 Well if you look on the bright side...in his eyes...you showed up to the rescue. When he pulls through youre pretty much a god in his mind.
    via Capital_Scratch2514
  • 36
    OP alpinepossum Thank you so fkin much. I have been absolutely beating myself up for this, allowing him to be abandoned in such a situation. I know he doesn't feel that way, or at least I hope. Due to finances, we can really only afford one trip a year (still very grateful for even that). Now I feel guilty for leaving him to suffer when I was off sipping Mai Tais.
    via alpinepossum
  • 37
    Aggravating_Fuel_610 Oh my god this is heartbreaking. MIL would be out of my life if that ever happened to me I know how quickly blocked cats can take a turn, so I'm so thankful your boy is still with us!
    via Aggravating_Fuel_610
  • 38
    OP alpinepossum Thank you for your kind words. I informed my partner that she is no longer a part of my life and I have no interest in having contact with her other than dealing with this situation. Frankly, she's de d to me and I have no remorse about it.
    via alpinepossum
  • 39
    tealeaves789 I'm so sorry to hear how negligent and awful she was, and glad to hear he is in good hands now. She would have no place in my life after this. Please keep us updated on how he's doing
    via tealeaves789
  • 40
    OP alpinepossum Thank you. We live in a small rural town and the local vet is an amazing, kind provider. Originally, I felt really shameful telling my partner that MIL was de d to me, but now I understand how justified my anger is.
    via alpinepossum
  • 41
    Mego 1989 I empathize with you. I came home from a 2 week trip to find that one of my cats had been locked in a closet for days. I have no idea if the cat sitter actually did anything to care for the cats while I was gone. I felt so terrible. I vetted the next sitter much better and got cameras to check on the cats and make sure the cat sitter was coming.
    via Mego1989

  • It's so important to vet your cat sitters. Anyone who's raising another soul knows this - kids, dogs, cats, anything - if you can't trust your sitter, you should never work with them. A pet sitter who's not trustworthy should never be a pet sitter to begin with.

  • 42
    OP alpinepossum In the past, we've used the same vet he's at for treatment as a boarder also. That was for a longer trip, so I felt MIL was able to manage for this week. In the future, I will not be able to trust anyone other than professionals for their care.
    via alpinepossum
  • 43
    LilArtsyCreature Tentatively speaking, this is a big enough deal where if you guys might want to consider a counselor/mediator if husband can't/won't properly confront MIL and properly clean your hands of her. I cannot stress this enough, she purposefully neglected your sick cat to the point of near (more like almost probable) death, and animals usually give off signs when they're sick even ones good at hiding it. So she probably walked into your place, saw him sick, and then ignored him to star
    via LilArtsyCreature
  • 44
    OP alpinepossum Thank you. This is exactly how I feel and I feel like everyone else is under-reacting. I told him I'm prepared to take her to court as it could be seen as a felony in our state.
    via alpinepossum

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feud family drama cat drama family feud mother in law family vet Cats pets
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